4 Worst 2023 Hallmark Christmas Movies

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Although the time of year has passed, we must always stay in the Christmas spirit! After many childhood years spent snuggling up with my grandmother and watching hallmark Christmas movies from dawn until dusk, I can say that I know a thing or two about what gives a hallmark movie its cheesy sparkle! Msny Hallmark movies are ingrained in my mind as magical memories, and others... theatrical trainwrecks. Fortunately for you, we'll be discussing the trainwrecks today! With that, here are the 4 Worst Christmas hallmark movies of 2023!

4. Long Lost Christmas

Taylor Cole and Benjamin Ayres make a great on-screen couple, but they're saddled with a ridiculous plot about Cole's character searching for her lost uncle. It's the kind of movie that would be over in two minutes if everyone just came out and said what was on their minds.

I think you’ve been reading our Christmas movie reviews long enough to know that I am trash for Christmas movies. You can definitely call me a grinch in real life, because I am one. But you can also know that Hallmark Christmas movies challenge that and start to melt my heart.

And if we’re being honest, this years movies are really challenging my emotions. I think I have spent more time crying over movies than I have in the past. And I don’t even know why half the time. And the other half, I know exactly why.

Hallmark has challenged itself and done something different this year. They’ve made stories that have challenged their formula and are new. Long Lost Christmas, starring Taylor Cole and Benjamin Ayres, is one of those.

In the movie, interior designer Hayley (Cole) plans to surprise her mother Patricia (Jaqueline Ann Steuart), with the perfect holiday present: the extended family she knows her mom yearns for. Hayley herself thinks she and her mom are fine alone, but she has recently discovered the existence of a lost relative, Patricia’s brother. Hayley hopes to find him and reunite the two siblings for Christmas. She travels to a town outside of Denver to chase a lead on a man named Gordon (Grant Vlahovic), who owns a cabin construction company and who just might be her uncle. Hayley is delighted by the town, which is all decked out for Christmas. She’s equally charmed when she meets Gordon, his daughter Brianna (Stephanie Van Dyk) and Jake (Ayres), the property manager. As Hayley tries to discover whether Gordon is actually her long lost uncle, she beings to fall in love with the idea of extended family, the charm of the town and Jake. However, when she learns the circumstances surrounding the siblings’ separation, Hayley has second thoughts and decides to abandon her mission. Gordon, on the other hand, is happy to finally have a lead on finding Patricia – but will he be able to bring the family together in time for Christmas?

3. The Most Colorful Time of the Year

Why is a schoolteacher (Christopher Russell) so grumpy at Christmastime? Because he's color-blind. But not the regular kind -- he has an exceedingly rare condition in which he sees everything only in black and white. Along comes optometrist Katrina Bowden to the rescue, whether he wants her to or not.

I have wanted to love every single movie this year, but I knew that there had already been a few that I hadn’t liked… so another one was coming. And I wanted to like The Most Colorful Time of the Year, but I just didn’t feel the Christmas magic from this movie.

Did I feel magic? Some. But it wasn’t Christmas magic. It was the magic of someone seeing the world in color for the first time. It was the magic of someones life being changed. But did this need to be part of a Countdown to Christmas?

No. And it didn’t need to take up such a prime December spot.

Michelle is a single mom who always wants to help everyone around her. She’s an optometrist who gives free exams at her daughters school. Her daughter, Bailey, is the sweetest kid, who loves her Mom and wants her to see all of the joy that there is to see in life.

Ryan is the school Scrooge. He doesn’t like Christmas, doesn’t let the kids sing carols, and would rather be never hear the word Christmas.

When Michelle goes to the school to give free eye exams to the kids there, she also tests Ryan. She believes that he is color blind, but he acts like nothing is wrong and doesn’t want to answer her questions. He’s very hesitant.

But she doesn’t give up. Every single time she sees him, she asks him more and more questions. He’s put uff over the entire thing and you can see it. Because every single time she asks questions, he gets a little bit of an attitude.

However, Michelle doesn’t want to give up. She is determined to help Ryan, regardless of his resistance. She enters him in a clinical trial for special lenses that will help him see colors. And to be honest, I was excited for this moment – the moment that he saw color for the first time.

But, Ryan’s expression of excitement felt like he just needed a hug. It didn’t feel like he was overwhelmed or that he was moved. It felt as like oh yay, I get to hug Michelle and it won’t be weird.

I did love the two of them going around the city and taking in color for the first time. Him seeing the beauty of a church, trees, and sunset. I think it was great moments. But, the issue for me is that I really just can’t buy these two together and I know that’s the story that they are setting up.

From the moment these two meet, there is no chemistry what so ever. Katrina Bowden and Christopher Russell are good actors, but the two of them have no chemistry together. Katrina’s character of Michelle just smiles a lot and has good teeth. Christopher’s character of Ryan is just meh (and I normally enjoy him in a role).

And that’s the frustrating part. Michelle gives us no depth, even when they try. We know that she’s this highly educated woman. We know that her husband died. But she seems to show limited to no emotion – and even when she shows some sort of annoyance she’s still smiling. While I do get where they were trying to go with this, I just felt that it didn’t come across and fell short.

2. My Grown-Up Christmas List

This love story between a soldier (Kevin McGarry, "When Calls the Heart") and his girl (Kayla Wallace, McGarry's real-life partner) suffers from terrible writing and a lack of chemistry. (A common occurrence among actual couples who act together.) Our leads fall for each other after having known each other a few days, there's a whole lost-in-combat plotline that makes zero sense, and it culminates (spoiler!) in an outdoor wedding in the middle of winter, at which all the attendees look utterly miserable.

Oh man, I wasn’t in the mood for a sad movie today. There’s enough sadness in my life right now. I was really hoping for a solid RomCom. This is most definitely not that RomCom. So, I know that is playing into this review.

First and foremost – I have a tremendous amount of respect and appreciation for our armed forces and everything they do for our country. They and their families go through more than I’ll ever fully know putting their lives at risk for us on a daily basis. Unfortunately, military romance movies are not a trope I look forward to. Oddly, I usually enjoy military romance books. I know, I’m weird. 😊

This movie will probably appeal to the majority of Hallmark movie watchers. So, if you like military movies, and you aren’t looking for a RomCom, you will probably love this movie! Give it a try!

If you’re a RomCom lover, this is definitely not your jam. There were very few jokes to lighten the mood of the movie. Overall, it was a sad movie that highlighted the difficulties our military families experience daily. On the plus side, it shows the love and hope that’s possible despite the lifestyle they choose. And the strength of Taylor and Luke’s families to overcome any obstacles.

I think a lot of people will give this movie 5 stars and will love the feels it delivers. So, don’t let my review deter you if you think this is a good fit for you! I love both leads; they were fantastic!

1. Christmas Bedtime Stories

What starts out as a decent romance between a widow (Erin Cahill) and an old friend (Steve Lund) -- Disney animation has nothing on Hallmark when it comes to dead parents and spouses -- takes a hard turn into Crazytown in the last five minutes with a happy ending that's shameless even by Hallmark standards.

Why is it always the movies I’m not looking forward to that keep me captivated from the first moment?! This was a bracket movie that I wouldn’t have watched if it wasn’t in my Hallmark Christmas Movie Bracket, because I usually don’t seek out military movies. They usually make me cry.

This one wasn’t any different. I found myself on the edge of tears every ten minutes. It’s so hard watching a movie where the husband dies and leaves behind a wife and child. Especially when the child is young and doesn’t remember her Dad.

But this movie is magic. I loved how Danielle’s stories kept coming real. Running into old friends, finding missing ornaments, freak snow storms, and more. I LOVE movies with this kind of magic! Somehow, it kept it just light enough that I didn’t cry the entire time.

But I wanted to cry every time I saw Danielle hurt poor Pierce’s feelings. I wondered how long he would last before he ended things with her or she finally figured out what she really wanted and stopped hurting him. I was glad when things worked out the way they did.

**SPOILER ALERT**

I almost died the last 5 minutes of the movie. Have your tissues ready! Colby’s reappearance gives the perfect Hallmark movie ending, but dang did it hit me right in the feels. I really really wanted this ending and I’m so happy Hallmark ended it this way! Is it realistic? Absolutely not, but that’s not why I watch Hallmark. I watch it to see the happily ever after that doesn’t always happen in the real world.

**END OF SPOILERS**

Hallmark Movies and Mysteries movies always hits me right in the feels. I swear I wind up ugly crying on 75% of these movies. I’m super glad I watched this movie tonight. Military movies are always hard for me to watch, but this was definitely worth it! Give it a try!